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angel_of_brightness789
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Name: Liore
Country: United States
State: Suburbia
Gender: Female
Interests: books, books, more books, USY, prozdor (woot woot for prozdor), anything amy winfrey i.e. muffin films, making fiends and big bunny, teen girl squad, writing things, mostly poems and short stories, LANGUAGES (hebrew, english not so much, italian and french. If only I could speak all of them fluently...) and MUSIC
Expertise: being the greatest language dork ever!
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Member Since:
12/14/2003
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| It's 2:34 am and I'm sitting in my room feeling more than a little depressed and a lot more lonely. It's hard to explain, really. There's no real reason for it, just the late hour making my thoughts race and my mood sour. Back at school, I could walk out of my room and find a lounge full of people awake--doing homework, indulging in their late-night munchies (drug-induced or otherwise), watching a movie, or just trying to hold on to the day just a little longer. Those people would be my hallmates, and regardless of whether we were close or not their presence was usually soothing.
Here at home, I'm alone, in my room, knowing that I should be going to sleep but finding myself unable to. Next door, I can hear the murmurs of my brother and his friend video-chatting with one of their friends, and I suppress the urge to go talk to them. His world is one from which I am not expressly forbidden but am still unwelcome. More and more I find myself skirting the edges of his life, trying to be as relevant to him as I can, so I can be someone he wants to be close to.
Right now I'm just craving contact--not sexual, physical contact but emotional contact. I want there to be someone else listening. Just another warm body, present and wanting the same thing. I want to feel needed, necessary, just for a moment.
But please don't take this as representative for my entire state of being. For the most part, my life is actually pretty fantastic. This is a just right now thing. | | |
| I'm at school, life is beautiful. Classes haven't started yet but I've met such fantastic people that I can't help but be really happy.
That was brief. And Natanel, if you're reading this, I'm very sorry that I ignored you last night. It was late and I was spacey and I will absolutely try to call you very soon so we can have this discussion when I'm more aware of what's going on.
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| In 17 days, I'm going to be faced with a new life, complete with new people, places, routines and situations. It seems kind of terrifying, but here's what makes me feel better:
Three years ago, I went to a summer camp with people that I barely knew, if at all. Nine days later, those people were some of my closest friends, and have remained so to this day.
We're going to get through this. I know we are. | | |
| My goodness, I have proven to be a fantastic communicator. And by that I mean absolutely not, I suck at updating this, and I really should. Sooo... what's new in my life?
Well... I am writing this entry from my NEW LAPTOP!!!!!
It's very very exciting. It's a black MacBook and it's beautiful and I'm really excited for school now.
In other news, I had to come home from work today, because I got this sudden horrible wave of feeling terribly sick. It was really awful. However, my brother was kind enough to heat me up some soup, and after just resting in bed and reading, I felt a lot better. I work at Starbucks now, which, as much as I enjoy the fast pace of it, I would not be able to endure another four hours of standing up and rushing around to meet people's demands for caffiene. It kind of sucks that I had to leave early on a Saturday night, because that's when all the drunk people come out to play and they ALWAYS stop at Starbucks for a little pick-me-up, or I guess it's really a sober-me-up.
I'm in the midst of reading Harry Potter, and I am telling you all now that if any of you post spoilers on my site or any terribly public online place, I will be really angry. End of story.
On a happier note, only 40 DAYS UNTIL I GO TO COLLEGE!!!!! At least, I think it's a happy note. Whenever I think about it too much, I get mildly terrified.
We'll see.
Much love,
Liore | | |
| I haven't really written in this in a really long time. I guess I've been a bit too busy. What has been going on with me?
LIFE. And graduation and parties (that are still going on tomorrow and in the next few weeks) and WOOO HOO I'M DONE WITH HIGH SCHOOL and I can't believe it.
I spoke at graduation. I introduced Hannah and it went over fantastically well. I was really excited. I definitely messed up, but it's all good, because it ended up just fine and no one noticed but me. I am pretty happy with it. It's amazing really, because it just shows how much I've really grown in high school. A few years ago, if somebody asked me to do that, I would never be able to. I would have been too scared and besides, I wouldn't have had the friends I do now to even give me that opportunity. I'm in a much better place than I was in years past and I'm so grateful to the people who have gotten me here. I mean, there's been my school friends, my USY friends, NATURAL HELPERS (best club EVER) and all of these people who have made such a deep impact on my life. I'm not even going to begin to list them here, because I would end up taking too much space and it wouldn't be good.
I have to get going now, because I'm tired (5 graduation parties later) and I need sleep before tomorrow's festivities.
Good night everybody!
Love, love, love,
Liore | | |
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